The New Way of Life...Teaching 2020

 Here we are again...Monday...quarantine and online teaching week 2!  So much fun!  To say that I have been a bit overwhelmed is an understatement!  I think I have even worried my hubby a bit.  I live on the edge of tears.  You see, this thing called teaching is not something I take lightly...nor do most teachers that I know.  We have great pride in what we do.  Not pride that is negative but pride that means we want to do a good job no matter what!

So online teaching has been thrust upon us!  Sounds like a dream job...right?  NO!  Not for someone who spends their days with children because we want to!  No...it is not a dream job.  It is something that is causing much anxiety and stress for almost every educator I know. 

So why stress?  What is the big deal?  The kids!  That's the big deal!  We have dedicated our lives to the lives of children and their education and well being.  We want to see them become better versions of themselves from year to year.  We love watching the growth from the day one to the last day of their time in our care.  We take pride in helping them become independent thinkers and problem solvers.  We miss them and we care about what their daily lives are like now, without our guidance and care. 

Most of them have a safe place to be...many do not.  Many are home alone now.  They may be the caregivers for their young siblings.  Some of them are worried about food and wait anxiously daily for the school bus to deliver their lunch.  Some are just alone.  It breaks my heart knowing they are feeling some of these big feelings that we too feel but do not have us there to reassure them. 

The other stress comes from being thrown into a learning world that we are just not accustom to.  One of my girls said today, "Welcome to teaching like a college professor without the pay!"  LOL!  I thought how true that statement was.  I've taken my share of online classes and most of those were classes I had some knowledge about and felt like I would be fine without the daily interaction with a professor or with classmates.  But there were those classes that I NEEDED that direct instruction.  I needed to hear the ideas and thinking of other students and I needed the explanations of someone more knowledgeable than myself. Online just would not have worked in those situations and I know that is how some of these children are feeling.  They need the interactions of classmates and teachers.  They need the reassurance that they are doing it right.  They need the community that school provides.  And frankly...so do I!

But here we are...learning by hands on and trial and error how to set up Google Classrooms and ZOOM meetings while converting work into Google slides or docs that can be completed online and submitted.  Teaching from a screen.  Talking to a group of kids while they lay in their beds, or wrestle with their siblings.  Some were even been mocked by family members for trying to do their work and joining our virtual class.  The plus...and probably the only plus I can find in all of this right now is that I can do 90% of my job in my pjs!  Yes!  That is a plus!
 
The other problem of this new way of life is the anxiousness that I must control at almost all times.  My poor husband has seen this near the edge of a breakdown in me several times lately.  I must hold things together to teach my kiddos and show a calm and relaxed disposition while I answer their questions about when will we be able to go back to school.  I must ease their fears when they mention this virus that has taken over our world and changed life as we know it.  I must do all these things while trying to calm the fear in myself.  Will we go back to school?  What if we don't?  What about this virus?  Is it going to be safe to go back?  Is this virus as bad as they say or are they making it a bigger deal than it really is?  What if..... and then the anxiety kicks into full gear again. 

It is hard for me to control those same fears and emotions that they are feeling because you see one of my own is on the front lines of this war with a virus.  She is double gowned and gloved.  Doubled masked and shielded.  Extra precautions put in place as she daily goes into this battle to help others who may or may not be infected.  No...I don't rest easy.  I pray constantly.  I trust her abilities and her cautious ways, but even then she is not 100% safe. 

She is also extremely tired.  She's worked more hours in the last two weeks than she normally does.  Last night she was working on about 3 hours of sleep and trying to take a test for a college class after being on call all weekend.  I hate it for her.  Not only does she have the added pressures from work, she also is a mom with two kiddos out of school.  She now is not only a working mom,  part time student, but also a home school teacher for her children.  The pressure is almost too great for any one person.  I see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice when she calls to chat on her way home from work.  She is holding it together.  Don't her part.  Helping others and trying to take care of her babies too. 

Then there is my other daughter who also is a mom, a full time teacher and a full time student.  She too has the added responsibilities of being a mom to three girls who need her as a mom and now she must be their teacher too while also taking on the same responsibilities of teacher for her full time class of kiddos via the internet!  I'm not really sure how she is doing it.  I see the stress in her eyes and hear it in her voice  Full time job...full time parent...full time home school teacher for her own children...part time student.

One bright side is that I have gotten to watch my youngest child shine as she has also taken on the role of online teacher during this, her first year of teaching.  To say I am impressed and proud are an understatement!  She has really done a great job and I am so inspired by her.  Don't tell her that I said all this...she doesn't like me bragging on her too much now days.  But I am so very proud!  She is a great teacher!  Her babies are lucky to have her and I'm thankful that she knows more about this technology stuff than I do so she can help me some too!  ;)

So tonight instead of thinking about all these crazy stressful things, I and thinking of my oldest child and wishing I was with her.  You see, tomorrow is her birthday.  With the "shelter at home" and all the rain we are having, I will not get to see her tomorrow.  That makes my heart very sad.  Birthdays and celebrations are very important to our family.  This time of social distancing has taken those things away from so many people.  My grandson will be missing out on his birthday party in the next week as well.  It is just now fair, but it is what we must do for now to protect all those that we love. 

I hope we can celebrate them both very soon.  Until then, I will leave you with these photos of the one who made me a momma and taught me about love that is beyond understanding.  Happy Birthday Baby Girl!  You are a blessing to us all!