In the past, when I wrote/blogged, I always had a prompt in mind. Something would be bouncing around in this head of mine and I would have to get it out so I could concentrate on other things. Well...that is not the case lately. The prompting to write is there but the clear cut topic is missing. I think some of the problem is that there are too many things bouncing round in my head and I'm not sure where to start. Thus the title...UNKNOWN!
I guess I can start with today, Saturday, day after my second Moderna shot to battle Covid-19. The day after my first shot was rough. I pretty much felt like a truck had hit me and I wanted to just curl up and cry. Today has not been that bad. My body aches some and my head has hurt. Tonight my stomach is joining the party and not feeling so great, but I have not run fever or had chills like before. (Well, I did run a little fever today, Sunday, and had chills last night. Crazy shot!) I'm counting this as a good sign. I am hoping that this shot does what it is supposed to and protects me from this virus...which will help me in return protect those I love from it. You see, that is why I got the vaccine. I was opposed to it at first, but then I watched my parents grieve the loss of a close friend who passed away from covid. I've had my mom beg me to get the vaccine. She has just been sure that if I got the virus I would be in bad shape due to my asthma and high blood pressure. She probably is right, however it seems very likely that I have already had the virus. Supposedly if you are really sick after the first dose of the Moderna vaccine then you probably have already had covid. (That's what I have been told several times...once by a nurse.) I'm not sure I believe that but who knows.
We are ending month 3 of unemployment for my hubby. It has been brutal at times. The job search is not as easy on a middle aged man. I so wish I could make things happen faster and be just what is best for him. It would be nice to see him happy again with his work. He has been floating along from unfulfilling job to unfulfilling job for the last several years. It would be so nice for him to find his niche in this world again. That has been my prayer.
Let me brag on God for a bit. These 3 months of unemployment have been super hard on us. Emotionally it has been a beating. Financially, we have been blessed. Let me explain. When my husband was let go from the job he had just gotten and been on for about 6 weeks, he was not given a clear reason why they were letting him go. They tried to say he did not have the qualifications that he had on his resume, which was a lie. They tried to say he wasn't doing his job, which was another lie. He was doing exactly what he had been hired to do and did what his supervisors asked him to do. He was totally blindsided by being let go. We had really thought this was going to be the place he would settle in and make a career again. We thought this job was the answer to our prayers. We were so wrong. We were also afraid that he would not qualify for unemployment by the way they were letting him go... The good news was that Texas Workforce Commission found in their investigation that he was wrongfully terminated! In other words...they lied about why they were letting him go. This meant he would qualify for unemployment benefits.
I never thought we would become experts on unemployment but we have over the last several years. We have had to file several times. It isn't much money usually. It normally is about 1/2 what a regular pay check would be. I don't know how people live that way. Honestly! But God has been part of this with us. Due to the pandemic, benefits have had an extra $300 added to them. That doesn't quite get him back to his normal pay, but it is better than before. So every 2 weeks he requests payment and then a check is deposited to our account for two weeks unemployment.
Again, I never thought we would understand all that we do about unemployment or even admit that we are surviving on it, but I feel that I need to let God be glorified in what is happening. You see, this time of year with all the rain and mud would be the time of year that the hubby would not work much. He works outdoors in the elements and operates heavy equipment such has backhoes, loaders, etc. (That's about all I know about it. LOL) Anyhow, he wouldn't be bringing in much money right now due to the weather we have had. Thankfully, unemployment doesn't depend on weather and we have had a steady check for 3 months. Now before you say anything about sitting around earning a free check, it is not free. The way I see it is that he has paid in his fair share of unemployment taxes over the years and he is just getting some of that money back when he needs it. He also has to be actively looking for work. I can't tell you how many applications he has submitted. It has been a minimum of 3 a week (required) but more like 5-10 per week. You would think that would be enough! However, the job interviews he has gone on have had so many applicants for one job that it is just crazy! I keep praying and believing that God has the right job out there for him and that when it is time, things will fall into place. But until then, we keep searching and praying and trusting.
At the beginning of this unemployment season, a scripture kept coming to my mind. It was the 23rd Psalms. The phrase, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." is what has kept me going. When fear has started to take over, I recite this phrase.. When panic tries to overcome me, I recite this phrase. Some days I recite it over and over and over just to calm my spirit. The thing that these times of uncertainty do for me is to remind me who I can depend on always. We've seen jobs come and go. We've seen friends come and go as well. Some people don't seem to be able to handle high stress situations and the people going through them. No shame in that, it just means we have learned to walk alone through many storms and fires. But through it all, God has been with us. I know that. I will give Him the credit for every good and perfect gift and every little provision as well.
So that's where we are. We are still waiting. We are still believing. We are still praying. I know that I know that I know that God is in control. I don't know what the plan is. I don't know why we have been chosen to walk this path, but I want to make sure that I see God's hand in all the blessings we have received. Now, don't get me wrong...I tell/ask God every single day to end this time of waiting and to provide that perfect job for my hubby. I tell/ask Him daily to watch over us and to be with the hubby as he continues to apply for jobs and work through rejection that has plagued him over these past several years. We'd love for you to join us in our prayer. Specifically...pray for a job for my husband. A job that will provide for our family and allow us to continue to pay off our debt and to build a house sometime in the near future. Pray for a job that will provide my husband with benefits such as insurance so that he can continue his work in getting healthier. That's another story for another time. We are both working on our health. So much we are learning in this time in the desert.
Wisdom for today...look for the good in whatever you are going through. It may be hard to see at times, and even harder to understand, but look for God in what is happening around you. If you seek...you will find Him there.
Blessings...Denise
