Have you ever just sat and wondered about when life would be normal again? This weekend, as I sat looking out the window at the rain soaked world, I just became so frustrated and anxious. I normally love a good rainy day with nothing to do but sleep and veg out on movies. Not this weekend. I was fit to be tied. My hubby kept asking me what was wrong to which my answer was, "I don't know!"
It hit me later while we were watching a movie. I had asked my husband to pause the movie while I was out of the room and when I came back in he was busy doing something and didn't immediately restart the movie. I had to ask him to take it off of pause. That got me thinking...our life has felt like it was on pause for a long time now and I'm ready to press play again.
We have been living in limbo it seems for way too long. After the husband's last layoff from work, we have gone 5 months searching and waiting for things to kick back into gear. We don't go anywhere. We don't spend any money. We don't plan anything. We just simply exist right now and that is wearing me down. How do you live when life is so uncertain? How do you keep planning, dreaming, moving forward? I don't know the answer because we have not been able to do it.
For the last 5 months...really more than that...we have just been existing. Get up, I go to work, he looks for jobs, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, fight with the dog, go to bed. Repeat! Every day! With the job loss, money being tight, covid still attacking people we love, we have been cooped up alone...together...and seriously just existing. It has been hard. No joy in it. I'm thankful I at least have had my job to go to to keep me busy and my mind from being totally idle.
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