It has rained over 6 inches this week here at our place. Our RV is going to become a houseboat very soon if the sky doesn’t shut off. I can only imagine how the people in Noah’s day felt when it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Four days has brought so much rain for us…it is reasonable to believe that the earth could be covered in water if it did this for 40 days! The only good thing about all this rain…puddling jumping with my grandson today! Man! He loves his rain boots and water puddles!
As my friend says in his blog…moving on…I had a check up with the endo today. My goal of 100 lbs lost is slipping away. I’m up from my lowest weight by 14 pounds. That does not make me happy. It is really frustrating. Yes, I have been eating some things that I shouldn’t but I am by NO MEANS overeating. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve been at my lowest so, I haven’t gained it all back at once. And…I still am eating healthier than ever before…and much less. That’s why this gaining issue is so frustrating. Just doesn’t make sense. Today, my doctor put me back on one medication that I quit taking about the same time I quit losing weight. We will see if that will help jump start things again. I’ve always said I am doing this to be healthy and control my diabetes. That is still the truth, but this gaining issue is really starting to bother me. I’m blaming it on stress but I have to get things under control again. I REFUSE TO GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS!
Stress…2025 has not been a year without it. So many things. I’m not sure I even want to venture into it all tonight. It’s 11:33 pm and I’m awake because my mind would not shut off after praying for people that I love. So…here I am trying to get it out of my head so I can try to sleep. One of the things is the fact that Father’s Day is this Sunday and I know several people I care for that will be celebrating it, or not, without their father/husband this year. It makes me sad just thinking about it.
I almost feel guilty at times because I still have my parents, both of them! I know I am blessed. This year has taught me yet again not to take any of that for granted. Same with my hubby. He may still drive me crazy 80-90% of the time, but he is my person and I am forever grateful for him. When I let myself go there in my mind…you know…that place where I put myself in my friends’ shoes…I think about how I would walk this path without them. Grief is a beast and I know I can’t truly speak about such things when I have not walked through it, but I would hope that I could honor them in how I continued to live. I watch friends walk through unthinkable things and am amazed at how they hold tight to their faith and even grow in it. I can only hope that I could be that strong.
As I sit here and listen to the frogs…yes, frogs…did I mention we currently live in a swamp? I’m thankful for this simple life we live. Mike said the other day that this crazy adventure in living in our travel trailer has really been good for us. WHAT? He said it! He said, “It’s really made us closer.” LOL! For real! We are in less than 400 square feet. But, yes…it has. We can’t hide in another room very easily. We have to learn to share and compromise, especially with space. We’ve downsized considerably. We have learned to enjoy experiences and not things. It’s a crazy life we live. The land is finally in our name and we could start the building process, but I’m not sure we are ready or even really want to. I’ll miss being able to hear the sounds of nature so easily through thin walls once we do. The frogs are trying to sing me to sleep.
Back to the doctor visit…hormones! I may be starting a new medication to help with some of that. This menopause stage is not for the faint of heart. I’d love to hear what others of you have done/taken to help through this stage. I’m still not sure I want to take another medication especially one with so many possible side effects. :(.
I guess that’s it for tonight. Nothing exciting or super inspirational happening in this. Just some ramblings of a mind that is spinning and trying to make sense of all the craziness going on around me.
Blessings…Denise
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